wealth or figure ? i choose moneyyyy . jyeahhh

everything now is getting harder . i cant breathe easily like there was something stuck inside my trachea that makes me felt difficult to breathe . recently , jb was dull . its raining heavily , in fact now , im shivering because of the coldness out there . i hate it when i am loaded with a lot of homework . ey , hello ?? teachers , dont you think that we all have a lot of another things to do instead of sitting on the table and open up so many books to refer just to settle your so-called module-for-spm ? grr ! it was like A LOT . i really mean it . A LOT .

okay , just now , i opened up my old albums . all the pictures inside there was really touched my heart . i miss all the things damnly . fiey , i miss you dear and one more , i'd already deleted all those fucking annoying pictures inside my albums . any shitters are not allowed here . so , i am sorry . thank you .


dear god, help me please . i cant finish those paper by this weekend . i wish that you can send me an angel who can help me on solving my add maths questionsssss . tee-hee. ;)

p/s;
i) my A-R-M-S .
ii) i miss you boo .

lu baru dapat baju bundle , bukan designer punya .

isu kampung atau bajet lebih ni memang macam agak sensitif untuk dibahaskan . but , who cares right ?

there was a good-looking guy and he is well-liked among his friends . he's hot and being with him is every girls dream !  i knew him for quiet long time . he's a bit choosy and fussy . so , i'm expecting that he will end up having something with kinda hotties or any pretty girls out there . last night , i was skyping with him . its quiet long time since the last time we get contact to each other but SURPRISINGLY , he showed me his girlfriend pictures and and .... HOMAIGOD ! wadda ?!?! his girlfriend is just an ordinary girl and kinda old-fashioned plus her face was like scary-gilaa-wehh ! it makes me like jumping out from my bed when i know this . okay , let me tell you guys about this fellow . he is having his higher level of education for this time being , good-looking , very up-to-date and  kind-hearted plus likeable . oh man ! i can't believe it .that girl was so scary and i think that i am cuter than her . LOL ! okay , who cares ?

yeah , as we know , beauty is a subjective matter . everybody got their own thoughts on beauty right ? but the things now is , he ever told me that , he want someone who are blablablabla . for sure it was a good things right ?but then how this thing can happen ? okay , it was like a fairytale ,

'handsome and the beast '

bahahaha ! ups sorry ! its not a good manner laughing at others . whatever it is , i am wishing you a very best of luck for your new relationship . send my regards to that 'kakak' . yeahyeah . i know . she's beautiful for you . tee-hee .

p/s ; when im listening to the pretty girl rock by keri hilson , it reminds me to this story . LOL !

biar

tett tettt ..

'kau sabar yea , take care dokk . get well soon ;)'

mesej ni masuk inbox aku . aku senyum berbunga . tak sangka banyak orang sekeliling yang masih sayang aku dan untuk itu , aku perlu redha atas apa yang terjadi biar pon sakitnya , tuhan saja yang tau .

setiap tahun , hari menganjak kehadapan . aku makin dewasa dan harus bertindak  seharusnya . insiden semalam membuatkan aku rasa aku masih manja , belum cukup matang . nasib menyebelahi kerna tuhan mahu beri aku peluang kedua mungkin . alhamdulillah . aku masih bisa menyedut oksigen di bumi tuhan ini lagi . terima kasih tuhan .

nyawa kedua yang tuhan bagi ni mungkin aku perlu gunakan untuk meminta maaf pada sesiapa sahaja sebelum terlambat . benar kata sesetengah golongan yang bijak pandai , persepsi manusia terhadap kita , tidak pernah sama . kadangkala ada yang kata kita sombong . ada yang kata kita baik hati . persepsi manusia bukan pembolehubah malar yang sentiasa sama tapi ia sering berubah-ubah . aku tidak terlalu paranoid akan semua tanggapan orang terhadap aku . memang ia tersedia begitu .

jika orang tanya , siapa syira ridwan itu , jawapannya sukar dicari . kerna syira ridwan kini berbeda . lebih selesa berdiam dan tidak berkata . lebih selesa , menulis dari berbahas .biar . dia selesa begitu . ada dua faktor tunjang mengapa ia begitu . pertama atas sebab malas . dan keduanya , dia sedar bahawa manusia gemar memanipulasikan pendapat serta idea-ideanya .jadi , mengapa perlu dia bersusah-payah kini ? ikutkan saja rentak dunia . dia sudah tidak berkudrat kini untuk bangun dan menyampaikan hujah dengan lantang tentang kejinya kehidupan berlangsung . dia tidak kuasa dan sesungguhnya dia bukanlah pemimpin gerakan gerila yang bertindak radikal terhadap musuh-musuhnya .

tapi , biarpun syira ridwan ini  membenamkan dirinya dalam desas-desus mulut manusia berbicara , menyembunyikan dirinya di balik tirai hitam kehidupan , tapi ingatlah dia masih hidup . rohnya masih berguna dan belum terhapus .

syira ridwan mungkin tak punya askar seramai kalian ,mungkin tak punya kehidupan sehebat kalian . tapi ingat jiwanya belum mati dan kini , hari-hari yang dilaluinya hanya sebagai gadis biasa dan dia tidak menepati ciri-ciri gadis semasa . tindak-tanduknya lebih berhati-hati dan dia layak digelar super skema . ingat , syira ridwan cuma gadis biasa yang sukar untuk bertanya dalam segala hal . biar katanya .

nyawa

tadi nyawa hampir melayang , tuhan masih sayang mungkin . 

hospital bau busuk . tak 'in' dengan aku .

do i looks like care ? pffttt . go to hell men .

if people loves to condemn you , just let them be . let your ass answer it to those poor soul .

yes i am a drama queen . i can make all those fucking shit face in front of anybody . yahh . i am so good then in making expressions . a lot of people hated me much . i know . but , 

DO I LOOKS LIKE CARE ? 

bila aku tengah sedap makan , tolong jangan simbah taik dalam mangkuk aku . aku taksuka . kenapa kau suka buat macam tu ? jangan sampai hangin aku betul-betul naik . aku sabar ni , sabar . agama aku tak ajar aku biadab . so , jangan bagi aku membatasi hukum agama . paham ? 

sekarang kau boleh melancarkan modus operandi kau untuk berkomplot bersama .  i am not that fucking stupid . kau nak melacurkan diri ke , nak pegi mati ke , nak tidur dengan GRO ke , nak mengandung anak luar nikah ke , nak romen dengan pakcik guard belakang aspuri ke, itu terpulang . nothing to do with me . but please keep this in your mind , take care of your own butt and not others . you are the most pathetic human being in this world . LOL  !

mungkin hari-hari masa kencing kau tadah air tu , and then minum balik . sebab tu kot mulut kau hancing sangat . pastu perangai pon macam babi . simpati .

peeps , if you wanna know about my life , you can view this page with such pleasure BUT  if you just visiting for condemning me , then , go to hell . okay ? thanks for your co-operation -from admins .

bored

kadang-kadang , hidup ni aku rasa sifar dan tak bererti . dulu , aku selalu salahkan takdir atas semua ni . aku susah nak bersyukur . aku tak pernah optimis dalam apa benda sekali pon . tapi , tu dulu . zaman rebel aku . zaman aku tak kenal erti life yang sebenar mungkin . 

tapi sekarang , aku dah dapat berfikir dengan lebih matang . aku dah boleh 'in' dengan banyak benda . aku cuba untuk positif dalam semua perkara . aku rasa ini dah masa untuk berubah jadi lebih berdikari dan pikir masa depan . sebelum ini bukan tak pikir , cuma kurang serius . 

kes-kes laki tinggal bini , budak-budak french kiss , fucking , kena de-merit dengan cikgu disiplin , orang cerai berai , pakwe yang dah couple lima tahun putus hanya sebab merajuk and etc , aku macam dah immune dengan semua benda ni . bagi aku , dunia bulat sentiasa berpusing . pakai konsep , hari ni hari aku , esok kau pulak . hidup simple . kita je yang macam batak melebih-lebih rasa semua tu masalah besar . kalau nak ikut masalah , budak umur setahun pon dah ada masalah . ingat tak sakit ke gigi nak tumbuh hah ?!

so sekarang , aku cuma ikut arus yang tuhan dah sediakan. aku mula redakan keghairahan untuk SPM . bukan ambil enteng , cuma nak go perlahan-lahan . baru nampak cool . ye dak ? 

tadi aku sembang-sembang kosong dengan atok and nenek aku . aku tanya , boleh ke nak duduk dengan diorang sampai kahwin nanti . nenek aku angguk and tunjuk muka eksaited . so , itu tandanya , dia bagi respon positif . konklusinya , raya cina ni aku sibuk . nak cat bilik . 

i hate thursday

I HATE THURSDAY 

do you know why ? ahh . thursday was like freaking SUCKS ! i have my 'pendidikan jasmani' on every thursday . i hate it when i have to run at my school field like a duck . it was because everyone was like running macam-orang-gila-kejar-anak and it was only me who left behind . wasnt it irritating when you are the only girl who walk alone at the middle of your school field while every boys are watching like hell ? nahhh . . okay , i know . it was totally embarrassing right ? who cares . 

life was getting tiring each and every day . i dont have an enough sleep for so many days and the eye bag , grr ! every morning it was like hell stuck at my school entrance and with that , i have to wake up 5 a.m early in the morning . homaigod ! i cant even open my eyes on that time when it was a holiday . that is why , i LOVE holiday ! jyeahhhh. 

we are young we run free . upssss ! nananana.  im so busy for a big war this coming november . *sigh*

who said im a good girl , put up your hands please .

maybe i dont have a good relationship with you , people . but , for now , i dont feel like into it . i wanna do the best to achieve my goals . its my future . either you like it or not , W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R . do i look like care ? peeps , let me decide on my own . i might a bit sarcastic , but so what right ? if you dont like it much , you may throw those shit on my face , i really DONT CARE . LOL .

Im used to be hated and now im being a good girl by waking up 4 a.m early in the morning and sleep early EVERYDAY perhaps . i have a bunch of buddies whom love to make some stupid jokes until i laugh like an insane . HAHA . i loikee it yaww ! now i can stop thinking of anybody . i just have to take care of myself and im getting used with those tight schedule . Grr ! 

actually , im gettin' busy with all those stuff- books , tuition classes , exams and blablabla . im sotired and everyday was a hectic day . sometime , i felt like , 'HOMAIGOD , I CANT BREATHE !' but then , scholarship selection for the A-level  is coming soon . even i know its a bit tough to be selected , but at least i try my best and now , i can put a smile on my face without thinking of those redundant stuff . 

oh ya ! before i forgot ! im now at my new class and all my classmate was great and can tolerate with so many random things . its my senior year , keep rocking yaww ! HAHA. XD

notes ;

1. I HATE BITCHES , COPYCAT-ERS AND STALKERS !

2. say WTF to training . grr ! my skin is getting tanned each and everyday !